The girl, about seven years, surprised the mother with the question. “Mom: Santa Claus are you?” He throws. The parent, true to the idea that when children interrogate give evidence of what they want to know, says “yes”. But I was not prepared for the reaction of the little girl, who cries inconsolably and demands. “! So I lied all these years”
This scene is more common than you think. Recourse to feed the fantasy of the existence of supernatural figures with magical attributes has its risks when installed almost like a parallel reality and not a game. On the other hand, Western culture, which does not have too many ceremonies to formalize the transition from one age to another, making the transmission of the truth behind the gifts of the Christmas tree ornament or shoes as recognition of the child and not It is in early childhood, which “is already big.”
Based on its experience in the office, Griselda Gianello, coordinator of the Department of Children and Adolescents of the Psychoanalytic Association of Cordoba, says there are children living this knowledge with pain. “Above all, it has to do with the trust placed in the parents,” he explains. “It is the pain of knowing that parents can lie, can not tell the truth and falls into the question ‘Can you trust mom and dad?’” He adds.
The specialist points out that the variations of the experiences have to do with the uniqueness of each child, but in general, when asked, they give signs when they can receive the revelation of the parents. He warns, in this regard, that “children are not always willing to know” and gives examples of how, even can choose how far you know. In that vein, he cited the case of a boy who accepted the fact that parents were Santa Claus, but that “business”: “But the Kings do exist”
About the installation of these myths. life of infants, Gianello explains that, “in itself, generate fantasies children and children of kings feel, ie people who can do everything, needless that parents encourage that.” “It has to do with the mechanism of omnipotence, very primitive mental functioning which are linked very well with these stories,”
Gianello then recalls a case from psychoanalytic literature. In a European country, in the 1930, a mother did not want to instill in your child’s fantasy free Easter. The child then said that if there were no Easter bunny in the house, go to the neighbor, where yes there was.
Among the need for a magic-omnipotent vision and curiosity, the most they progressively smaller inquiring and reasoning about the credibility of the story. “The life of imagination is part of mental functioning, it is necessary to go by setting the child’s mind. If there is trust between parents and children, as children grow, asking questions and go closer to reality, “he says. What is expected of a mind in -apunta- growth that can distinguish between fantasy and reality. “The encounter with reality is complex, that is why before going publicizing”.
The psychoanalyst insists he can not speak in general terms and that “each response is unique,” but admits that when the child shows a lot of anguish at the disappearance of a fantasy, usually that emotion can not be explained solely by that fact, but that may be related to other situations that affect it.
In conclusion, the analyst believes that the central question is how far is healthy the myth of Santa Clause or the Three Kings. “It is if it is not transmitted as absolute truth, but as something that is part of the culture that can be enjoyed as a story or as a game.”
For Juan Eduardo Tesone, psychiatrist, member of the Psychoanalytic Association Argentina (APA), make contact with the reality behind the myth of Santa Claus and the Magi may be one of the many games they have to develop in childhood. But makes an exception: “If that takes too much grief magnitude, maybe moving in that disappointment other disappointments.” Affirms in this regard that a child used to reading or being read to be more prepared for that game of imagination.
But the discovery of the “deception” of the parents, can have an unexpected effect for adults. “The child’s relationship with the lie is particular. Discover the secret ability and is a great discovery, because it can be very liberating, “says Tesone.
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